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In this episode, I make my way up the river in the wretched rain; through tons of enemies, many of which were electrical; drowned once; and got a touch of lore before finally reaching Zora’s Domain.
I pick a direction and wander aimlessly through the hills, valleys, and swamps until I finally find something of note: the plot! And a pretty, pretty fish-man with just THE BEST personality and music.
After dropping in with Impa in the last episode, I start my search for the Fairy Fountain!… and warp back to Hateno Village before basically walking ALL THE WAY BACK to Kakariko through the Lanayru Promenade.
There was another Yiga assassin and he was just as much of a non-threat as the last one. Also, the quest markers denote the quest GIVER and not the quest TARGET, which is phenomenally useless.
I go wandering aimlessly, in search of Shrines and adventure, and wind up performing a bit of amateur mountaineering. After encountering a weird guy at the Heartbreak Pond and one of those big, sleepy fellas I want nothing to with, I complete one Trial of Strength and flee in terror of another.
Or whatever the hell the onomatopoetic spelling for that noise Purah makes is.
I finish lighting the torches in Hateno and enter the Research Lab, meeting the adorable (hundred-year-old) Purah and her assistant. They give me a camera, which ruins me because I’m a complete lunatic.
I continue my exploration of Hateno Village and start lighting a bunch of stone lanterns with blue fire for honestly no reason whatsoever. Then I kill a bunch of guys on the shoreline, eventually, for stealing sheep.
I make it to Hateno Village and screw around, looking into all that it had to offer. There’s shops, houses, a malicious statue that steals your essence and sells it back to you, a weird dye-man, and people with horrible, horrible faces.
I also encounter the dumb ball-rolling maze “puzzle” of the Myahm Agana Shrine and counter it being awful by just bouncing the ball over the maze to the end.
I start heading towards Hateno Village and come across my first Yiga ninja person… who is just absolutely trash? I’m not super sure if I was supposed to be threatened by her.
And then Ganon throws a fit and brings all the slain critters back to life, because he’s a jerk like that.
I make it to Kakariko Village, meet with Impa to learn about lore and the like again, and then find a bunch of chickens for a VERY SAD MAN. Oh, and we get more stamina after finishing the nearby combat tutorial shrine.
Like with Dark Souls, I completely disregard health for a very long time in preference of being able to do some pretty dope maneuvers.
I continue on towards, through, and past the Dueling Peaks, completing multiple shrines and activating a Sheikah Tower which will all surely be content claimed by Nintendo.
Jokes on YOU, Nintendo, nobody cares about what I do.
Anyways, I get the Sheikah Sensor and a horse, whom I name Bubba.